Painting the Golden Gate Bridge
A construction company, located in San Francisco, won the contract for repainting the Golden Gate Bridge. The personnel manager had advertised for qualified painters and was interviewing the first of 200 applicants, an Italian. „Do you know how to paint the Golden Gate Bridge?“ was his first question. „Well, not as professionally as Michelangelo, but I think I’ll manage allright.“ – „Listen“, said the personnel manager, „this job has to be done as professionally as possible. Go back to the waiting room and send me that Michelangelo fellow.“
Opinion poll
The executices of an opinion poll company were busy discussing whether sex was pleasure or hard work. „It’s the best thing in life, and if you allow me…“ – „If I could just make a point here“, interrupted another „…you wait till you are married. After a year it becomes a chore like everything else. Let me give you an example…“ – „If I just could say a few word here“, interrupted a third, „we are all too intellectual. Let us ask our new office boy.“ – „Tell us“, they asked him, „is sex work or pleasure?“ The young man thought for a moment, then he replied: „It must be pleasure, because if it was work, you would be making me do it for you.“
The secrets of Promotion
The other day I walked into a pizzeria that had opened in our neighbourhood recently. The pizza they served me was excellent. The following day I decided to have lunch there again. When my pizza arrived I got really angry and called the owner over: „Listen, Mr. Branduardi, I ordered the same kind of pizza yesterday and I had three times more salami and cheese. „Yesterday,“ replied the Italian, „you were sitting at the window!“
Disappointment
„I’ve never been so disappointed in my life. I’ve discovered that my wife is lying to me. She said she spent the night with Gaby.“ – „How do you know she was lying?“ – „Because I spent the night with Gaby.“
If you need somebody you can trust, trust yourself.
Bob Dylan
You can’t please everyone, so you gotta please yourself.
Ricky Nelson
In your life expect some trouble, when you worry you make it double.
Bobby McFerrin
Knowledge is a curse, but ignorance is worse.
The Devine Comedy
Managing is like holding a dove in your hand. Squeeze too hard and you kill it; not hard enough and it flies away.
Tommy Lasorda
The time spent on any item of the agenda will be in inverse proportion to the sum involved.
Parkinson’s law of triviality